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Short answer
In the comment automation editor, open Additional Settings and pick a Reply Delay: Immediate, 10 Sec, 30 Sec or 1 Min. The DM and the public reply then wait about that long, with a few random seconds added. Reply Delay is on Legend Pro and above. For longer waits between messages, use DM Sequence.
The app’s post editor has no Reply Delay. Set it on the web at app.instantdm.com. In the app you can add waits in two other places:
They comment, and the DM and public reply arrive after the wait instead of right away. When they tap a button in your DM, the next message comes without the delay.
Set Reply Delay back to Immediate and click Publish.
No. A few random seconds are added so replies don't arrive at identical times. For example, 1 Min arrives after roughly 50 to 70 seconds.
No tool can promise that. A short delay can make replies feel less instant, but Instagram decides about restrictions. See Is InstantDM safe for my Instagram account?
Not for the first DM after a comment: the longest Reply Delay is 1 Min. Longer waits are possible between messages in a DM Sequence or in a flow.